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Find The Mistakes (2) (IELTS, TOEFLY, YDS, YÖKDİL)

The Question: In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? (Please find the mistakes in the essay below and write your findings on comment to learn answers)

 

In many countries around the globe, decrease in health, and lack of fitness have become serious problem for people. While there is some causes of this situation, some measures which can taken to solve the problem also exist.

First, if it required to examine the causes of the situation, although there are many causes, two main reasons can be listed which are; technological advancements and increasing in consumption of unhealthy food. It can easily be said that technological developments made people more lazy because lots of machines or tools doing our jobs were invested. These machines and tools prevent us to do natural exercises. For example; people are driving to their jobs instead of walking or they prefer to use washing machine instead of washing their clothes via hand. These acts can be consider as natural exercises, and when people don’t do these natural exercises, they are gain height and becoming unhealthier. In addition, the increase in consumption of unhealthy food damages people’s health. Since these unhealthy foods such as hamburgers involves some chemical ingredients, this kinds of foods lead to gain weights, and damage people’s level of fitness.

There are varieties of measures which can be taken for solve the problem as well.  Firstly, the awareness of people about the danger of the problem must be enhanced. In order to increase the awareness of people, mass media and social media can be used. For example; TV channels can publish some ads that explaining the danger of the problem. Second, the government may prohibiting sales of unhealthy foods at least in schools. If people are forced to eat healthy foods, the problem can solve quickly.

In conclusion, one of the biggest problems of many nations around world is decrease in health and lack of fitness. Although there is some causes create the problem such as technological advancements and increase in consumption of unhealthy foods, various course of action which can be taken to solve the problem exist. In short, even if the problem is very serious and big, it is not unsolvable.

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Categorised in: English, Gramer, İngilizce, ÖSYM, YDS

This post was written by Emre Bilgiç

Ankara Yıldırım Beyazıt University

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3 Comments

  1. Emre Bilgiç

    Ağustos 20, 2018 at 7:03 pm

    The first one is that “while there ARE some causes……”
    Whatelse?

    • These are what i have found and there are more i think, if ı have any mistake please correct me..:
      it IS required to….
      developments MAKE people…
      They GAIN…
      THESE kinds of foods…
      They problem can BE SOLVED…
      Although there ARE…

      • Emre Bilgiç

        Ağustos 21, 2018 at 5:50 pm

        Actually you are pretty good but you have only two mistakes here and also there are some mistakes that you should find (if you could not find, and if you wish, I can send the correct essay to you via e mail) Here your mistakes;
        1) developments HAVE MADE
        2) They are GAINING

        Thank you for your interest!! If you enjoy with this exercise or if you do not like it, please comment on this post.

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