Find The Mistakes (3) (IELTS, TOEFLY, YDS, YÖKDİL)

Here you are asked to find the mistakes in the essay below. If you write your findings on comment, you can get correct version of the essay.


Cooperation or Competition

In today’s world, many arguments have been done so for about whether the sense of competition or cooperation is more useful for children growing. As it is stated before, there are many different views about this topic, but these views can be classified under two main groups which are; supporters of the think that the sense of competition in children should be encouraged and the other group believes that children who learned to cooperate make them more useful adults.

According to people who supports the idea of encouraging children with a sense of competition, the competition is one of the most important point of natural selection and play major role in adaptation of the real life. So, people with this view belief that the sense of a competition should be adapted to person in early ages, and are provided to them the awareness of this feeling. Some researches show that children who are identified their living areas as competition place and are seen  their friends like competitors, become more successful adults than others. On the other hand, those people will be alone in the future.

On the other side, the other group of people believe that children who are taught to cooperate become more useful adults. They think that behavior of cooperation has positive affects on children’s moral actions. Also, the children who are taught to co-operate have more chance to make friends and he/she will be more socialize person in future. In my opinion, the behavior of cooperation should be encouraged to the children. It is more beneficial for the children’s development and characteristic features. I believe that cooperative behavior is one of the important features that people should have. In early ages, main personal competences begin to settle. So, it is essential for the children that help them to gain that kind of main features like cooperation.



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