Find the Mistakes (IELTS, TOEFL, YDS, YÖKDİL)
Find the Mistakes (IELTS, TOEFL, YDS, YÖKDİL)
The Question: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. (Please find the mistakes in the essay below, and comment)
As it is state in the question, many people are encouraged to take one year gap to travel or work before they begin their university education. While this situation carry some advantages, some disadvantages of this situation which should be take into account exists.
Although lots of benefits which can listed exist, there are two main benefits of travelling or working for students before their university education. The first advantage is that students who prefer to travel can learn new cultures through meet with new people and discover world. Learning new culture is beneficial for students because it help them to look at the situations or problems from different perspectives. The second advantage is that students who prefer to work can gain working experiments. This situation may help them to understand which job is suitable for them. Therefore, they become able to plan their career before they begin to university life.
On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of traveling or working before the students begin to their university education. Although there are many drawbacks, two of them is important. The first disadvantage is that when students preferred traveling before university education, they can feel homesick. Since the students have not apart from their families and friends, they can miss these people. Even, they might become depressed in maximum cases. The second disadvantage is that when students begin to work, they can like to earning their own money and to become financially independent. Therefore, they may reject to study in university. Through this way, their whole life can be influence negatively because having university degree is very important to become competitive in the job market.
In conclusion, if students take one year gap between finishing high school and starting university studies, there are some advantages and disadvantages of the situation that students will encounter. While students can enjoy with learning new cultures and gaining new experiences, they also can feel depressed and homesick and may reject studying in university. Therefore, while students are deciding whether they will work / travel or not, they must evaluate benefits and drawbacks of travelling or working before university life carefully.
20 Ağustos 2018 at 16:16
The first mistake is that “as it is stateD in the question…..”
Whatelse?